When I was 10, I moved to a new school. The first year, everyone loved me cuz I was the new girl. But, the next year, all my friends left me and everyone made fun of me. I had already been suicidal at that point, cuz I remember telling a friend in grade 4 that I wanted to kill myself. Anyway, everyone made fun of me for everything and no one was there to stand up for me. They even started to hit me, with jump ropes and stuff like that. I was so upset. They convinced me that I was ugly and evil. After that year, I cut off all my long, Rapunzal-like hair, went emo, and started cutting myself. (Now I got those stupid scars. Grr!) Anyway, when everyone saw the new emo, depressed, suicidal Ciara, they loved me. I still hated myself and thought I was ugly. I wouldn't even look in the mirror, and I loved the sight of my own blood. (I'm one of those people who like pain, by the way.) I wanted to die. And I went to extreme leangths to feel pain, like cut myself with a compass from a math set at school. I wouldn't tell my family, though, so they just thought it was a kid thing, and didn't get any help for me. Anyway, I found Michael, and he made me happy. I actually felt love, and it shocked me. He pulled me from the darkness, as I like to put it. So, I'm a little better now. However, people make fun of me all the time for being a Michael Jackson fan. I have just learned to, basically, become a zombie. I practically can't hear anyone I don't want to anymore. And, I'm stronger. And, yes, I still want to cut myself a lot, especially when I'm angry or feel stupid for doing something... well, stupid. But, I don't anymore. I'm really much better. Just praying that no one notices my scars, cuz they'll easily guess what I did, or what I am, a real life freak. *grimace* Michael helps a lot. And so does his fans!

I'm sorry about your dad. I'm sure he's not dissappointed.

I'm sorry for the abnormaly long comment!